NOBODY'S ANSWERING MY QUESTION!!!?

I think so far you have a good out line but you need to put more details like her thinking about beating him up and the experience of him being beaten up ummm you need dialog and if you have a hard time with it just think your another person come up with your own persona then thats your dialog. You can also take out some of the details like they call her pierce because she doesent like her name just start it off introducing her by her name then when the characters talk to her us pierce. And dont be scared to use a comma take you dont need to have more than 1 or 2 ands in a sentance. But overall i think its great a book i would reccomend is the ttyl and l8ar g8r im not sure the author but u could google it. It will help you with dialog and setting. If you need more help email me loebjordan_11@rocketmail.com